The Elements are Restless

Have had the 4 Elements (air, water, earth, fire) and their correspondences and mythologies in play in my mind for several months (recreational thinking). Was thinking this morning that they are all acting up.

Winds of the hurricane - air
Floods of the hurricane - water
Earthquake in Mexico - earth
The west burning - fire


Bear Dream

Night two after the bear attack, I had three dreams about bears. I had one more a couple of days after that. No dreams of bears since until last night when I dreamed about The Bear for the first time, not just "bears." 
In the dream, I was showing someone a video I had taken leading up to seeing him, then seeing him, then whoop, thunk, clunk - no more footage. In the dream, I showed it to two different people.

When the Bear taps me on the shoulder, I feel it's best to say, 'you rang?' 

Along the Fence

A middle age lady with curly hair was walking the sidewalk outside of the fence escorting a wee one scooting along on a riding contraption for toddlers. Carmen barked a few deep, low ones and walked the inside of the fence beside them. I said from the porch, "She's just an old lady who wants to let you know she's still here." The lady said, "I know the feeling." 

Quiver Factor

I've been asked what I thought about the bear scene in The Revenant and it really didn't hit any nerves. Last night I watched Legends of the Fall for the first time since the bear and the bear scene at the end of that movie had more quiver factor for me.

Why I Have These Two Posters

These are 2 bear posters I have.

The first one looks the most like, let’s call him “My Bear,” of the images I’ve seen, and I’ve looked at many looking for as close a facsimile I could find. The water on the whiskers does it. Weighs them down just right.

The second poster is for its “close-up” value. Of the bear pictures I’ve sorted through, it’s the closest to replicating the proximity, the frame in which I saw him when I first saw him. Sometimes the poster catches my eye and a voice in my head reflexively says, “I know, I know, I know.”

I had to keep the second covered for awhile last summer and fall.

Together, they give me the face and the distance from which we met.

Here’s a close-up of the bear who looked the most like mine.

This Video

I saw it for the first time on a tv screen in a bar in Amsterdam. I loved the man I was with. I had called off my wedding to be with him. 

Decades and lives ago.


More Bear Aftermath

As a fiction writer, I've spent most of my life in a split world. There's the moment I'm in and experiencing and there's a perceiving mechanism apart from the external world mulching the experience into material. 

Since the Bear, the split is rare. Sometimes, I think it's a problem, a problem for the writing. Other times, it seems like "writer" was an identity that has served its purpose.  

My Process

I was asked about my writing process yesterday. Dictaphone? Journals? 

My answer: On-screen composing mixed in with random jotted notes and messages on stray pieces of paper, envelopes, and sometimes journals. Non-linear, then ordered, and re-ordered, several times over. Then cleaned up and too pleased with itself, I pull it apart again, put it back together, and declare it done a typo too early discovered too late. 

Generally speaking, that's how it goes. 

Birthday Card

I usually don't discuss my birthday on the Internet. I know the algorithms will grab it and go look at my astrological chart and manipulate me into buying pocketbooks. 

But I got this early birthday card from my cousin, the only family member to have seen my scene out in Emigrant. He and his wife spent time right in the area where I was jumped by the bear.  

This is the birthday card. 


Three Books and Lobbying Medpot

The three books I travel with if I'm going to be working and temporarily living in a location are Out of Control by Kevin Kelly, The Structure of ScientificRevolution by Thomas Kuhn, and Thinking in Systems by Donella H. Meadows.

How systems work, how to build them, and how things change - dynamics that are relevant to anything I'm working on, any task before me.

Right now, that location is the capital of Montana where I'm lobbying a slate of provisions to further develop the medical marijuana regulatory statute. The goal is to move the program/system towards being Transparent, Contained, Safe, and Functional. As part of the team that authored and passed in November the citizens' initiative laying down the foundation of a medical marijuana regulatory system, we are now looking to build upon this foundation. The initiative created licenses and mandatory inspections for medical marijuana providers in Montana and allowed the cannabis testing labs to re-open. The initiative also made PTSD an allowable condition for a medical marijuana referral. The initiative generated this foundation for regulation while restoring access in Montana which was lost by a court decision in February 2016 that went into effect September 30, 2016. The program was all but shut down until the initiative passed in November.

The initiative was the foundation. The basics. During the 2017 Legislative Session, we will forward the next layer of provisions in order to develop Montana's medical marijuana regulatory rubric, including tracking systems, shifting to the canopy-model for production management, defining concentrates, residency requirements, and mandatory testing once a standardized, available, affordable testing network is in place. 

This will be my 13th legislative session as a lobbyist. I am proud to be lobbying in 2017 for one of the fastest growing industries in the United States and serving as Lobbyist and Government Relations for the Montana Cannabis Industry Association (MTCIA).

Regulatory statutes create systems. The functioning of the legislature itself is a system. There are nodes and hubs, islands, feedback loops, and both static and dynamic variables. There are goals, players, and rules - basics in all complex adaptive ("living") systems. I believe taking a systems approach to both to building regulatory models and politics is like learning about electricity, and not just how to fix the toaster. 

(Text is also available at my LInkedIn page.)

Snow Day

sounds good on this snowy, snowy, snowy, snowy, still coming down day. snow. chunky, lumpy snow. christmas tree lights. and the ever-presence of cat cat likes to drink from the Christmas tree stand. it's so refreshing, he thinks, this holiday beverage. it's been snowing and snowing and the birds are back and forth from the hedge to the feeder across the street. eat all you can! 

House of Dogs

On one side downstairs was a guy with a lab who just had 14 puppies. On the other side were two guys who had a bulldog with a 'Sir" before his name and a pitball who went by Raven. I lived in the attic apartment with my lab/setter mutt and a newt who would get on her rock when I played The Who. I also playing REM at the time, and this song.